#you have to buy a stand mixer

[mahgck]

you have to outlive donald trump

[nomaishuttle]

making my sillay little apartment checklist

[2hightocare]

WHAT YOU NEED ✷

Synopsis: Jungkook and you try getting into the Christmas spirit, but you end up getting fucked up against the kitchen counter.

Pairing: Jungkook x f!reader

Genre: established relationship au!

Warnings: smut, size kink, light spanking, squirting, creampie, unprotected sex (don’t b dumb nd wear condom.) fluff, cussing, Jungkook has a dirty mouth. a kms joke, hair pulling and choking

Word count: 2.3k

A/n: let’s not sayyyy.. when i say i was giggling and kicking my feet i am not fucking lying! (Jk had me on a chokehold istg😒) they flagged my shit… um

Is it barely November 1st? Yes.

Are you putting the Christmas tree up already? Fuck yeah.

Jungkook would clown you for your love for Christmas, and honestly, you didn't care because you loved everything about it. The decorations, the new flavored coffee menu’s, the gifts underneath the tree, and the cold. You loved wearing beanies, scarves, and thick hoodies. Something about this holiday takes you back to your childhood—the way you would gather with your siblings and parents in the kitchen, making sugar cookies to put under the tree for Santa.

Were you heartbroken when your parents told you they were Santa? Yes. You felt betrayed after they lied to you for thirteen years of your life. When you shared your story with Jungkook, he burst out laughing, sharing that he found out at age nine after catching his parents in the act, making you want to cry for him.

Now here you both were at 10:40 pm assembling the Christmas tree. Jungkook's mom gifted you both, which is much bigger than yours from last year.

“Oh my fuck—this is too big, baby." Jungkook admires the height of the tree with his hands rested on both sides of his hips. Your excitement rises at how many possible ways you both could decorate it.

"Well, I can tell you hate it,” your boyfriend jokes as his hands wrap around your bare waist from behind. “Your hands are cold,” you flinch. Your hands wrap around his, trying to pass him your warmth.

“And if we decorate it with tiny dicks?” You crack your neck upward to see his reaction. “I mean, go for it, baby."

You swat his chest as he burst into a fit of laughter. “You swear you’re so funny, huh?” You look at him with a serious face, your mouth twitching from trying to hold in the big smile that wants to come out.

Jungkook just shakes his head. “Wanna decorate today with last year's decorations, or we can wait till tomorrow and buy new ones, and instead we can bake Christmas cookies?” He wiggles his eyebrows at you.

Anyone in their right mind would be thinking we’re crazy for already baking Christmas cookies when December is in a whole month. But you both didn’t care.

…

“We should’ve gotten pre-made cookie dough.” Your eyes look around at the marble counter in front of you, filled with all the ingredients your mother-in-law told you to use. “On god.” Jungkook stands beside you. “You know what? Let me call my mom. We need a tutorial, I'm afraid.” You giggle as he pulls out his phone, opening up FaceTime.

The phone rings three times before the camera fills up with your mother-in-law smiling sweetly. "Hi, my babies!” She says first, Your face lights up. “Hi,” you wave a hand to the camera. “Hi mom!”

“You guys look adorable,” she motions to your guys matching pink hello kitty pajamas. “Y/n bought them; I had no choice,” he lied, knowing damn well he wanted to match first. “Sureee.” You rolled your eyes at him.

The call continued as Jungkook's mom gave you guys simple instructions like beating the sugar and butter with a whisk, which Jungkook took over because your hand started to hurt, and gradually adding flour to the mixture, which ended with both of you guys covered in white flour because Jungkook turned the mixer too fast. After wishing your goodbyes, you both slightly shake off the flour, and you put the dough in the refrigerator. Apparently, you have to let it be firm.

“So now we have two hours to wait. I say we fuck.” Jungkook slaps your ass, making you squeal. “You’re horny??” Your hands make their way to his hair, slightly pulling. "Hm, maybe,” he whispers into your mouth, and he gives you a slow, wet kiss. “I’m still sore from earlier." I mumble in between kisses. “Was I too rough?” His rough hands massage your ass. You shrug your shoulders in his embrace.

“Christmas movie, then?” He asks, “I’m so down."

….

“Shit takes like ass,” you say, finishing up the cookie.

Your boyfriend looks around for the long-gone cookie. “I don't know; let’s ask the audience.” He looks around for the invisible camera. “Bitch!” You swat his arm, and he burst out laughing, holding on to his stomach.

“You literally ate that shit up.” His head is thrown back, and the most beautiful laugh roars out of him. “I will kill myself genuinely.” You chuckle while trying another cookie without the frosting you guys tried making from a tutorial on Google.

“The frosting is ass, cause this is a bomb,” you stuff your mouth with the remaining of the cookie humming at the taste. “Am I weird cause I fuck with the frosting?" He dips his pinky nto the bowl where the white frosting is before sucking it off. “Never mind actual shit." His nose scrunches in disgust, and his tongue sticks out, making you giggle.

"No, seriously, why is it so bad?” Jungkook takes a sip of the milk he had served not so long ago. “I have no clue, baby, but the sugar cookie itself slaps." You take your half eaten cookie up to your boyfriend's mouth and say, "Open, ahh." He immediately follows commands and opens before you shove his mouth with the golden cookie. “Mhm,” Jungkook's face scrunches as he bobs his head up and down, savoring the heart-shaped cookie.

“Probably the best cookie I had in a while, not gonna lie,” he states, taking a bite of the gingerman's head.

“Do we have cinnamon?” You make your way to the drawer where you keep all the spices. “ Found it,” you make your way back to the cookie before sprinkling some on your and Jungkook's cookies before taking a huge bite. “Oh my fuck," you moan.

"Oh, my fuck indeed.” Jungkook shoves the remaining cookie into his mouth, moaning at how it melted in his mouth. "Think, I just saw stars.” You say this while he side-eyes you. “Haha no.” He says that before picking you up on the counter, he settles in between your legs.

“Horny still?” You ask again, "Yes, very, I’ll be a gentle promise.” He leaves open-mouth kisses on your neck before slowly sucking.

“No marks.” You moan, your fingers slightly tugging on his hair and making him groan. “Scarf season, princess.” He looks up with a smirk on his face, then continues his actions, sucking and licking your soft spot. You bite your lip, trying to be quiet. Jungkook slowly grinds into your clothed pussy causing you to slip out a throaty moan. “Fuck—“ you throw your head back, your legs caging him closer to where you most need him. “I need you to lose the clothes and fuck me.” Jungkook chuckles at your demanding tone.

“Yeah? Want my cock already?” His hands rub on your thighs. You nod your head, looking down at the imprint of his now-hard cock. You reach for it, but Jungkook slaps your hand away, making you pout. “Patience princess,” Jungkook's hands tug on the band of your pajamas, pulling them down and taking your underwear along with it.

You squeal as your bare ass feels the cold counter top, and your boyfriend laughs before throwing the clothes somewhere on the ground.

Your pussy clenches over nothing, and you go to press your thighs together to relieve some of the tension, only for Jungkook to hold them wide open. He pulls his hard cock out of his pants, giving himself two pumps before slapping it on your wet center. Your gaze fixated on his dick on your pussy, your lips between your teeth moaning slightly when your boyfriend gives it another slap with his dick.

“So wet for me, baby,” he says, giving it another slap. "C'mere," Jungkook's picks you off the counter from your arms, “bend over. ” He orders.

You quickly follow his command, your juices dripping down your legs from how wet you were already. Jungkook spreads open your legs some more before making his way in between them, giving your ass a slap. “Fuck—“ you clench your thighs together as he soothes the red mark he just left. “Fuck, when are you going to let me fuck this ass.” Your boyfriend asks you, giving you another spank, making you squeak.

“Never,” you moan, making him chuckle under his breath. “Worth the try.” He jokes before sinking down into you, both moaning at the feeling. You felt so full. Jungkook is so big, stretching your pussy deliciously. “So big shit," you moan, your cheek pressed against the counter as he fills you up to the hilt. “You can take it, baby,” Jungkook says between gritted teeth. He felt you clenching around him, having him on the verge of coming right there in an instant.

“Always so good for me, baby. Want me to fuck you so good, huh?” He whispers into your ear, and you clench around him, earning you another spank, ripping a loud moan out of you. “Fuck me," you stutter over the pleasure your lower belly is feeling. “That’s what I like to hear, baby,” Jungkook says before pulling his cock out, just leaving the tip in before slamming into you. Your mouth hangs open as he repeats the movements over and over again. “Fuck just like that,” you grip to the edge of the counter, your eyes close immediately, as his rough hands compare to your smooth skin, hold tightly to the sides of your hips, pounding into you from behind.

“This cunt is mine, right?” Jungkook groans, sliding his cock in and out of your walls. You could only reply with a loud moan. But that’s not enough for Jungkook; your boyfriend wraps his hand around your hair, pulling you upward and arching your back in the process. “Use your words, princess.” He orders in your ear, his movements never halting.

"Fuck—your pussy! Only yours,” you spit out whatever words you could make a sentence out of. “Fucking you dumb, huh?” He lets go of your hair and moves his hand around your neck, adorning it like a necklace and applying some pressure. "Mhmm,” you moan, trying to open your eyes but shutting close after Jungkook slams into you again.

The room fills with the wet clapping sounds, groans, and moans that keep spilling out of your guys mouths. Your fingers find your sensitive clit, applying pressure and drawing small circles. "Fuck—I'm gonna come!” Your legs shake beneath Jungkook, and his arm wraps around your waist in case your legs give out on you.

“Yeah baby? Gonna come for me?” He slaps your hand away from your clit replacing it with his. Your back arches against him, and his cock continues hitting your g-spot repeatedly, sending you over the edge.

“Oh fuc—“ Your words are cut short when the pleasure in your belly finally snaps, and Jungkook's fingers furiously move on your pussy, making you scream into your hand. Wetness pools on your feet, dripping down your legs. “Fuck so hot when you squirt,” Jungkook continues fucking you through your orgasm, the overstimulation has you shaking underneath him. “Too much fu-fuck,” you head drops to the counter. You clench, sending Jungkook over the edge.

“Coming,” your boyfriend's head drops to your shoulder, his movements becoming sloppy, springs of cum shooting inside you, moaning at the feeling.

His movements come to a halt, his mind foggy, his cock throbbing when he pulls out, making you whine, feeling empty.

“Fuck fuck fuck fuck,” Jungkook mutters under his breath as he sees his cum dripping out of your hole. Without a second thought, he shoves it back in with his index finger. “Aw shit,” you moan at the sensitivity.

He chuckles, kissing your shoulder blade. “You were so good for me, baby.” He leaves open-mouthed kisses all over your back, breathing heavily. You are trying to catch your breath, and your legs feel like jelly, not being able to move from your current position.

“Mhm,” you hum softly, your eyes closing. "Baby, don’t fall asleep on me,” Jungkook smiles at you, picking you up in bridal style, making you to squeal.

"How the fuck can you be so cute after just getting railed?” Your boyfriend moves your hair out of your face as you try to snuggle into his chest. “You play too much,” you mumble.

Jungkook lays you down on the bed before disappearing into your guys bathroom; a couple minutes later, coming out changed and with a warm rag in hand, “here, baby open,” he coos motioning to your legs. You do as he says. He slowly cleans and wipes your center, making you moan from oversensitivity. “Almost done,” he says before giving a last swipe and throwing the rag somewhere in the room.

“Do you want a pill, baby?” He asks against your cheek, to which you nod. He stands up, walking to your side of the closet and getting you something comfy to wear. “Here. Be right back.” Jungkook leaves the clothes next to you and leaves the room.

As you change into your clothes, Jungkook waltz’s in with an ibuprofen and a glass of water on his other hand. “Here,” he says, waiting for you to poke your head out of his hoodie before handing you the small pill.

You swallow the pill without any complaints before dropping down on the bed. “So tired.” Your eyes close before you even hit the pillow, making him chuckle. “Worn you out, huh?” He teases before dropping beside you, pulling the covers over both of you. You immediately cuddle up to his side, feeding off the warmth he radiates. Your leg is over his torso, and your hand is on his chest.

“I love you, princess.” He whispers into your hair, leaving a small kiss on your forehead. “I love you; now let’s go, mimi’s." You kiss his clothed chest, hoping he can still feel the kiss.

[copperbadge]

This is not to sniff at packaged food in any way, because cheap, uniform, nutritious, premade food is important and necessary. And despite what your local tiktok orthorexic may tell you, packaged food is still capable of providing solid nutrition.

That said, I've been making my own bread for about twenty years, and for the last ten or so it has often been easier to make bread than buy it, solely because I don't need to leave the house to do so, and I live alone so a decent loaf can last me a good ten days. Being able to make ones own bread in this modern era is a product of privilege -- the resources to buy the ingredients (especially high quality flour, not cheap), the time and space to bake, the stamina to knead or equipment to make kneading easier -- my breads improved a lot when I got a good stand mixer, and those aren't cheap. But also, to make a decent edible boule you can get by with flour, water, yeast, salt, and time. Throw in a little oil and you can make pizza crust; add in kneading and a bit of sugar and you have bagels.

It did somewhat change how I eat, because homemade bread is often a little difficult to make a sandwich with, but I was never a huge fan of sandos anyway. These days I often don't even make loaves -- I make rolls or bagels, or flatbreads.

But all of this is to say that because I'm now accustomed to eating my own bread, which is necessarily small-batch and produced without stabilizers that make commercial bread so soft and uniform, I am starting to struggle when I do buy bread because the flavor and texture often feel off. It's not that it's objectively bad food, but it's very different from what I'm used to, which is unpleasant. I've been aware of the issue for a while but previously even if the bread wasn't as good to me as my own, it was edible and convenient, so it was fine. Making your own hot dog buns is a pain in the ass.

I just bought a loaf of Italian bread, reasonably fresh, a brand I used to eat regularly, because I wasn't feeling up to baking anything. I've been making toast with it mostly. But yesterday morning -- admittedly while dealing with some nausea -- I bit into a sandwich I'd made with it (cashew butter and strawberry jam) and thought, "this feels like eating upholstery fabric."

I haven't been able to eat any more of it since. The soft, dense texture, the specific preservative flavor, the mouthfeel. I tried to eat some toast just now and had to spit it out because it felt like buttered brocade and I started to gag. I'm kind of mad about it, honestly.

The bread won't go to waste -- if I can't eat the rest of the bag I'll dry it out and crush it for breadcrumbs for fried chicken or a panade -- but it's both sad and funny that I have functionally baked myself into a corner where packaged bread is no longer even an option.

It feels like I'm becoming one of the middle-aged eccentrics I used to know when I was a kid -- older people or couples in my church, sometimes parents of my school friends, who were just kind of oddballs, hippie leftovers, what I still think of as Berkeley Weirdos (affectionate) even though Berkeley has long since gentrified. The lady who didn't have a functional oven or stove because she ate raw vegan or the family that converted their old station wagon to biofuel but kept the rear-facing back seats with no seatbelts and would give us death-defying rides to the community pool in them. I'm already growing my own basil because I eat an unlikely amount of pesto for one person. My signature potluck dishes are kiwi dip or egg-free meringues.

I don't mind, exactly. I loved the Berkeley Weirdos and the community they built for us kids. But it's definitely not a place I imagined ending up.

[sweetiesicheng]

s.coups - slice of our lives

word count : 1,932

happy birthday to our handsome s.coups ~

-

"finally," you mutter as you sit down on a stack of wooden pallets. you just finished cleaning for the night at the restaurant you work at, but you couldn't help but think about the mistakes you had made earlier during tonight's service.

you dig through your backpack for a bit before opening one of the pockets. you take a box of cigarettes out and open the box to see your lighter and two cigarettes left. you take a cigarette out and light it up.

as you sit in the silence of the alley behind the restaurant, you try to calm down before going home for the night. you don't want to go home still thinking about the service since you have work tomorrow as well.

when you're done smoking the first cigarette, you drop the end onto the ground and reach down to smash it with your foot. the back door to the kitchen suddenly opens, and you see the expeditor walking out.

"hey," seungcheol greets when he notices you.

"hey," you greet back and light the second cigarette.

"you look beat," he comments as he takes his jacket off.

"cause i am," you reply. "we were slammed tonight."

"front of house messed up a lot since myungho’s out sick. we already chewed them out for it,” he mentions. he walks over to you and stands in front of you. "need a ride home?" he offers.

you shake your head, "no. i live pretty far. i'm going to leave after i'm done," you say to him.

"can i stay to make sure you get on your way safely?" he asks, "my mother would kill me if she somehow found out i left one of my coworkers by herself in this crusty alley."

you crack a smile, a first for the night. then, you nod your head. "yea, you can keep me company," you say to him. "i'd offer you a cigarette but i'm out."

he shakes his head, "i don't smoke, not anymore at least."

"better than me," you manage a laugh out. then you sigh, feeling emotions starting to bust out again, but you try to suppress them in front of your coworker.

"you okay?" seungcheol asks you. "hey, look at me. y/n, look at me."

you look down at the ground and watch your falling tears hit the pallet. seungcheol reaches over to take the cigarette away from your hand.

"hey, listen," seungcheol says to you and crouches down in front of you, enough to where he is in your view. "tonight was rough, for everyone. front of house was a mess, and chef shouldn't have taken you off of your station. you're a rockstar in there. no one else can work the desserts better than you."

you start to smile as you listen to him. then you chuckle, "yea, no one better than chef," you say.

"oh whatever. when we had family dinner that one time and you two had your little competition. everyone knew you were the best, even chef. if you hadn't beaten him, then you would have never stepped foot in that kitchen again. you're in that kitchen with all of us for a reason," seungcheol says to you. he reaches in and wipes some of your tears away. "need another pack?" he asks, noticing the empty box next to you.

you shake your head, "i’ll buy one another time," you say to him. "um, thanks. sorry you had to see that," you say to him and wipe the remaining tears with your sleeve.

"no worries. take it easy on yourself," seungcheol replies.

—

"y/n?"

you look over your shoulder and have to do a double take when you see seungcheol.

"oh, hey," you greet and look back at the mixer. "give me a second," you say to him.

"no, you're good. just wanted to tell you that i left something for you in your bag. keep it up," he says before walking away.

you smile and continue working. there are two desserts for tonight's service, but they're the ones you usually go with. with one of the line cooks helping you out today, the two of you finish preparing everything.

eventually, service begins and you help prep ingredients for the next day since you'll have to wait a bit until people want to eat their desserts.

"y/n, i'll love you forever if you save me a piece of cake. i want to bring my girlfriend something yummy from work," one of the line cooks says to you as she passes by.

"you should bring her here," you say to her. "i'll pack you two if we have any leftover," you say and continue prepping ingredients while she goes back to her station.

once some more time passes during service, you start making the desserts for customers as you hear orders called out.

"coming through. watch your feet," you hear someone say as they walk through with a tray.

"shoot, we need more strawberries," the line cook with you says. "i thought we had enough," he mumbles while finishing off making a dessert.

"i can grab more. finish these for me," you say to your coworker before leaving your station. you quickly go into the walk-in fridge and grab more strawberries before leaving. you quickly walk back, trying to avoid being in the way of the other chefs and employees. "here you go," you say to your coworker.

"thanks," he replies before finishing the desserts and bringing them to the pass.

the rest of service goes smoothly, much better than the past few shifts where you had been more stressed out. after you finish cleaning for the night, you grab your stuff and notice something in your bag, a new box of cigarettes. there's a note attached to it with a phone number and a smiley face drawn onto it.

you smile and pack up your things before leaving. you put your headphones on and start walking to the subway station.

—

[ y/n ]

you trying to keep me

hooked?

[ seungcheol ]

just trying to save you a trip.

did not mean to supply to

your habit.

my apologies. my apologies. 🙇🏻‍♂️

[ y/n ]

haha all good

thanks

[ seungcheol ]

no problem. get home safe.

—

the door to the condo slams open, "am i late?" seungcheol asks as he hurries in, all while holding a pizza box.

"you have three minutes. come on, sit. i'm hungry," you say to him as you crack open two beer cans.

"the pilot better not follow her again," seungcheol says as he throws his jacket onto the arm of the couch. he sits down next to you and pulls the coffee table closer to the couch so you two can reach easier.

"do you think she'll give a rose to him?" you ask as the show starts. "oh, not him!" you shout when you see an eliminated contestant back on the screen. “what is he doing?”

"geez...that's embarrassing," seungcheol comments.

the two of you watch the newest episode of "the bachelorette" together. both of you mentioned how you wanted to hang out, so you two eventually set up a date on one of the days that the restaurant is closed.

"that is way too embarrassing," seungcheol comments again as you two watch what is happening. "and what he said to her was even more embarrassing."

"yea, he's kind of aloof about all of this," you say as you grab a slice of pizza. "i'm surprised he hasn't gotten out yet. i bet he's just in this still cause he's cute," you add on as you watch the episode.

"you think he's cute?" seungcheol asks you. you look over at him.

you shrug, "i mean, yea. he's cute, but he's all over the place," you reply.

seungcheol leans back, putting his arm on the back of the couch. he tilts his head as he looks at you. "what about me?" he asks.

"huh?"

"am i cute?”

you stare at him, pizza in hand. you can feel yourself blushing from his words, knowing that your answer is in your face.

"you're cute. did you know that?" seungcheol asks.

"we're supposed to be watching "the bachelorette" right now," you say to him, trying to calm down internally at the same time.

he grins, "alright. let's watch," he says to you before looking at the tv screen again.

you look forward, eating a bit of pizza and trying to focus on the latest episode. you finish your slice and finish off the beer too. the episode continues on with a few dates and a jaw dropping moment happening.

you sit back on the couch with a second beer in hand. while watching, you feel seungcheol move his arm to be on your shoulders. since you want to be comfortable, you eventually lean against seungcheol as you two watch the episode together.

"damn, i should've bought flowers..." seungcheol mutters while the bachelorette starts handing roses to certain people. you look at seungcheol again. "you didn't hear that."

"uh huh," you start and look at the tv screen, "right." you chuckle while you hear seungcheol sigh. "you can give me some next time i come over," you say to him.

"next time? you're giving me a next time?" seungcheol asks.

you look at him again and smile, "you're cute too, choi seungcheol."

—

"stop! i'm testing new flavors!" you whine at seungcheol, who is trying to snag another piece of cake from the counter. "seungcheol! just wait like five more minutes."

"it's just one cake, y/n. you have a bunch of them. i'm sure it's great," seungcheol says to you, finally standing away from the table. with no cake in hand, he crosses his arms and leans against a counter while watching you decorate the cakes and put little details on top of them. "you going to make this for tomorrow's service?"

"yea. i've been thinking about making new stuff lately," you mention. "i think it'll be good for a change," you say and pick up a plate. "okay, taste test please," you say to seungcheol and hand him the plate.

he grabs the plate with one hand and opens a drawer next to him to take a fork out. he cuts into the dessert and takes a bite. you watch his expression change into a smile.

"oh, that's really good, babe," he says to you and continues eating. "i think this is better than the chocolate mousse."

"let me try," you request. seungcheol feeds you a piece. "i think it needs something on top," you state your opinion. "maybe just something for color."

you open the fridge and start looking for something to garnish the dessert before opening the freezer as well.

"what about this?" seungcheol points to something in the freezer.

"you think?" you ask.

"you have more of them, so it can't hurt to try," seungcheol says to you.

you make more desserts with little modifications to them, trying to determine which one is the best. seungcheol gives his opinions, which helps you a lot as both of you taste everything.

"this one is the best," you say to him, pointing at one of the cakes.

seungcheol nods, "yea, that one is really good. i like this one a lot too."

"hmm...maybe i should just wait until next week. i'll need to ask mingyu to order some ingredients at the restaurant," you say to him.

"you have plenty of time," seungcheol says to you. "you did a great job," he adds with a smile.

"thanks for helping me out."

"of course, babe."

[hellyeahsickaf]

Cooking While Disabled

One of the things I miss most about being less disabled is cooking. It was one of my favorite things to do and something I've always been good at.

On good days there are things I can do that make it easier. It's not the same as before, but I hope that sharing what makes it possible for me to cook helps others who struggle with it.

Tips for cooking while disabled:

You can incorporate precooked food in your meals. For example, stir fry with precooked rice with the ingredients of your choice, or taking frozen pasta (like the ones with maybe sauce and a couple other things) or plain microwave pasta (I prefer these, but heat it first) and putting it in a pan adding other ingredients like vegetables, cheese, garlic, etc

If it comes frozen or canned that can really help. Frozen rice you can just microwave, frozen cut veggies and garlic and onions are good as well

Buy a chopper with different shaped blades, spiralizer, electric slicer/grater, food processor, or any appliance that will save you energy. Ideally machine washable. Stand mixers are also better than manual ones. Especially helpful if you have joint/wrist issues

You can always prepare ingredients ahead of time. I find that sometimes it helps to prep (chopping or mixing ingredients, etc) earlier in the day or even a day before. Then you can put it in the fridge or freezer until you're ready to cook the full meal

Look up easy recipes or recipes for elderly/seniors. With the latter you may find more nutritionally balanced food but an unbalanced easy meal is better than none

You can sit while you prepare ingredients.

You're allowed to take breaks. You can turn the stove off, maybe put a lid on it to retain the heat, sit down, maybe take something for your symptoms. Some things you may not be able to stop in the middle of like making pancakes or deep frying something, but if you're making soup or curry or chili or something, often you can turn it off for a bit and take care of yourself.

If you need help and can get it, please ask for help. I know many of us need to work on asking for help including myself. Even if it's just washing the pots and pans or chopping something. You are not a burden you hear me?

Stretch before and after cooking just as one would before a workout. It will likely lessen any joint pain or stiffness as you are still exerting yourself

Listen to your body. Just as you're allowed to take a break, you are allowed to decide you won't be able to finish what you're doing. You may put away your food before it's done (if this won't ruin the meal). You are allowed to leave a dirty pot in the sink and come back to it later (just make sure you or someone else does before it gets gross). You can wash them in the dishwasher. I know this is bad for the seasoning on pots and pans but you can reseason them to be nonstick again and use nonstick spray

You can buy seasoning mixes rather than using individual seasoning. Instead of parsley, oregano, basil, etc you can buy Italian seasoning. Instead of paprika, pepper, cumin, oregano, salt, etc, you can just get taco seasoning. This may sound obvious but it can save a lot of time and energy

An issue I have is buying perishable ingredients thinking I can use them, having a bad week or two, and the ingredients have gone bad. Try to plan out your meals before shopping and ask yourself if there's an easier alternative for any ingredients. Maybe pre chopped fresh onion instead of a whole one, sliced mushrooms instead of whole, frozen vegetable blends instead of individual, powdered ginger instead of the root, bullion instead of stock that you may not be able to use all at once. I know this is like one of the other points but these are what I find most helpful

Use supercook.com! You input the ingredients you have on hand and you'll get a list of recipes you can make with what you have. Often there's a wide range of complexity and difficulty

Make enough food to freeze or refrigerate leftovers. It helps if you can portion it into single servings in Tupperware or freezer bags. You can prepare frozen burritos for your next few lunches or dinners, separate portion sizes of spaghetti, portion salads, etc

Feel free to add any additions!

[woozingie]

17:17

pairing: woozi x afab!reader genre: domestic fluff! word count: girl idk i wrote the whole thing on tumblr like a madwoman (again) content warning: mentions of sex, mentions of menstrual cycle, mentions of plans for BABIES, mentions of money management (shudders) lil note: i am currently coming down with yeonjunitis so i am fighting it off with little woozing stories in my head + i made raspberry choco cookies and vegan chocolate cake this afternoon and they're a banger so let's fight off yeonjunitis

"i made cookies," you announce with a single serving plate in one hand and a cup of tea in the other. it's not like woozi didn't hear or smell the cookies coming to life, but the sentence rolls off your tongue as you proudly present your boyfriend with his afternoon tea. he does not look up from the screen but his enthusiasm is sincere when he answers: "nice", he lets out, eyebrows still furrowed in concentration.

you go back to the kitchen to bring your own cup and plate and finally settle down at the dining table next to the busy man. it's nice to have him home, even if he is off doing his own thing. his presence, the little sounds he makes, talking to each other from one room to the other, giving him control of the sound system in the living room and suffering bruno mars on loop; in a relationship doomed to follow his strict rockstar schedule, the little pleasures are priceless. even sunday afternoons spent pouring over your household finances.

"how much was the stand mixer again?" woozi sighs. the look he gives you is half mental fatigue, half accusatory, so when his hand moves in the direction of his homemade cookie, you playfully give it a slap. "who cares, it's already profitable! if you eat from the stand mixer, you must respect the stand mixer." an eye roll and a smirk are the end of that could-have-been argument. "plus," you add, "aren't you like... proper rich? remind me why we're balancing the books when we could be playing video games? watching a movie? working out? having sex? ...napping?"

now you are casting doubt on the whole operation in jihoon's mind. he tentatively half-closes his laptop, stares at the steam coming out of his cup of tea before closing his eyes with a sigh. "everyone should keep up with their spending. if we want to buy a house, we need to be aware of how much we can afford to spend-"

"we could be napping? and/or having sex? remember?" you barely hold your laughter when jihoon closes his eyes and sighs again at your insistence. you know you are weakening his resolve. but this isn't your first time having this exact conversation, and he comes prepared. hot drink in hand, he argues: "what if we buy a house irresponsibly and there's no money left to have a baby? what if i need to keep working a lot to make enough money to pay for all the baby stuff? what's the point of having kids if i'm never there to see them and take care of them? where's the love in forcing you to be a stay at home mother?"

that usually is the point where you fold and take the receipts out of your purse. after seven years of perseverance, patience and devotion, your maternal instincts are getting out of hand and surprisingly, jihoon's apathy towards children has turned into the shy confession of a growing desire to turn your loving dynamic into a little nest for a brand new person. your fingers softly caress his empty hand, heart bursting at the thought of baby yous and baby jihoons running around. but your lover is unaware of your cycle overriding your rational brain this time around. "where's the love in counting money when we could be practicing baby making? my darling? my love? my genius composer? angel voice? and then have a cheeky nap after?" woozi's serious face falls as he laughs, his eyes forming perfect little crescents, the high-pitched sound of his laughter somehow only making your desire more urgent. it's funny the mundane things that turn you on once you know someone so well you've helped them get boogers out of their nostrils.

"yeah okay, i see where you're coming from," still amused, he feigns deep thought, eyebrows reaching for his hairline, pouting as if to say, 'impressive work'. he quickly bites the last of his cookie and gulps down his cup of tea as he stands up, holding the hand that was caressing his to invite you on your merry way to the bedroom.

"wait!" you stop him dead in his tracks. confused, he turns around and looks on as you reach for your phone on the table. "we need to set a timer, i've got a cake in the oven as well." he spits what's left of tea in his mouth and folds in the middle, holding his stomach with one arm: he is in stitches. it's your turn to feign emotion, and you choose outrage at his lack of trust in your financial decisions. "i told you we were making profits from this bloody stand mixer!"

[hokusu]

Post-war bread hero Hawks who just goes around delivering bread because his house arrested boyfriend at home doesn't have anything to do but to keep on kneading. Dough after dough, into the oven they go. Fresh batches steam up the house and the smell of sweet and savory fill up the air.  

Something about missing the use of heat at his fingertips that gets him going. Something about giving him something to do and taking out any of his lasting anger on each piece of dough like his own little punching bag, that is oddly therapeutic. 

So Hawks let's him be, buys him all the trays and bowls and fancy mixers that he wants and Dabi keeps on baking. Fingertips dusted with flour, scoring knife in his hands and a crease of his forehead as he focuses on the bundle of dough before him. The patterns are beautiful and Hawks had never known the kind of time and skill it took to bake bread with such love. 

Hawks thinks he falls in love again in his own home, just from watching Dabi in this piece of time. Stuck in his house with nothing but time and bread in his hands. Away from the war. Away from anyone who can hurt him. 

Hawks kisses him and Dabi returns it feverently but shushes him away gently not even a moment longer, the ding of the oven signaling his loaf is done. Hawks hides a pout but otherwise steps back to watch from afar. 

But there are bread lined on every shelf of their house now and their counters are full, their fridge overwhelemed. As much as he loves every piece of bread that Dabi has dishes out, he can't possibly eat all of them. 

Can't stand the thought of letting them waste away either. 

So he starts giving them out. 

And the public has no idea where these bread come from. Or why post-war Hawks seems to have them everyday. Rain or shine. 

Only that if they're lucky enough to catch Hawks on the odd hours on the streets, he passes them out from a little weaved basket until they're all gone.

Some days they're all the same kind, uniformed shapes of soft warm bread. Other days, they come in an array of sweet and savory fillings. Sometimes he'll be seen feeding the less fortunate from the streets and take a visit to the local orphanage, sometimes he'll feed some strays. But always, they're fresh. Homemade. Generous and delicious. 

It kind of becomes it's own branding. 

Hawks' bread. 

When Dabi finally steps back into the public, the world still asking the question – How can we trust him on our streets? How do we know he's changed? 

Hawks shrugs, an arm thrown around Dabi as he reveals with another basket, cloth pulled back to let the enticing smell out. "Well I don't know, you trust him enough to eat his bread, so if he wanted to kill you he already would have."

And... it's a mystery until it isn't. It's not Hawks with too much time on his hands to bake bread in post-war, it's Dabi.

Those are Dabi's bread. 

The same ones the whole city has had to try by now. 

They have no arguments there. Not even the most doubtful can find it in them to say anything when their stomach still turns fondly thinking of another bite of those bread. The same ones Hawks shakes before them with a knowing smile. 

They shut up quickly and get in line. 

Dabi stares and Hawks looks particularly smug as he hands Dabi's precious bread. 

He's not sure if Hawks is a genius who planned this all along or if his little bird just got lucky, but he does know only Hawks, ex-double spy with a lifetime of deception, could have pulled off his return to society this cleverly. 

[willalove75]

Being Rebecca's partner /gf ( younger like Keeley ) and some of the boys flirt with reader. Both remain professional and hide their relationship but there's just something about a possessive strict rebbeca ...

Loveeee thisss!! Thank you so much for the request!💕💕

Warnings: Smuttt (idk how to write a possessive Rebecca without it tbh LOL)

18+ only Minors DNI

Tension was at an all-time high. Sitting next to Rebecca, you can feel the stress radiating off of her. All you want to do is wrap your arms around her, kiss her on the head and whisper words of comfort into her ear. When she glances over at you, you know that's all she wants too. But the two of you were in public and you haven't told a soul about your relationship yet, both of you agreed to keep it under wraps for the time being. Plus the season was almost over, neither of you felt the need to make the end of the season more chaotic than it was already about to be.

What was not helping the tension, or Rebecca's stress, was the fact that you were at an away game at West Ham. The team Rupert recently purchased.

Laying in your arms last night, Rebecca told you how nervous she was to go to the game, that she was anxious about seeing her piece of shit ex-husband again. Running your fingers through her soft blond hair, you reassured her that everything was going to be fine, and that you would be by her side, no matter what.

"Howdy boss, y/n!" Ted pulls both you and Rebecca out of your spiraling thoughts.

"Hello Ted." Rebecca says.

"Hey!"

"How 'bout the two of ya'll come in for the team mixer, West Ham and the boys are all getting acquainted with one another before the big showdown."

Exchanging glances, Rebecca reluctantly stands up and you follow the two of them inside.

It was noisy and pretty crowded, also unusual for the two teams to be getting together like this before a match, but you decided to not think much of it and followed Ted and Rebecca to the bar. Just before you reach your destination, someone pulls Rebecca away to introduce her to some people. She shoots an apologetic look your way and you softly smile back at her, letting her know it's fine.

Walking up to the bar, you notice a couple of West Ham players make their way up to you. You do your best to not pay them any mind, but they make it impossible when they try and talk to you.

"This game was going to be a breeze, but knowing there's gonna be such a gorgeous woman in the stands, I think I'm gonna have a hard time focusing." One of the players says, flashing you a million dollar smile.

"If you get distracted that easily, you're gonna have more problems than the match." You retort.

"Pretty and quick, that's a rare combination."

"It's only rare when you give off the energy of an entitled football player."

The boys around him erupt in a chorus of "ohhhh shitt!" and you laugh, making the football player talking to you laugh as well.

Rebecca hears the commotion and looks over, immediately spotting you in the middle of a group of footballers. Her eyes are locked on you, there's a bubbling of, something, in her chest that feels foreign to her. Anger? Stress? Jealousy? That last one resonated more than she expected, what she jeal-

"Earth to boss, come in boss!" Ted says, pulling her back to reality.

"My apologies Ted, what was that again?"

Surrounded by the boys, you had no idea that Rebecca spotted the interaction. The player talking to you leans in a little more.

"May I buy you a drink gorgeous?"

"You're literally about to go play football, you're gonna drink?"

"Of course not, I have morals!" He says with a laugh and you shoot him a look, eliciting another laugh from the group. "I will be drinking water, what will you have?"

"I'm flattered, but no thank you."

"Please," he says, taking your hand into his. "I insist." He lightly kisses your knuckles and you stand there in shock for a second, never expecting him to be that bold.

Hearing laughter erupt, Rebecca looks over towards you again and see's the footballer lean in. Her eyes narrow when she see's him take your hand and place a kiss on it. Never in her life has Rebecca's body tensed up so much, seeing someone else's lips on your skin set something off in her that she's never felt before. Looking at your face, she knows immediately that you're uncomfortable. Even though she was in the middle of a conversation, before her brain can catch up with her legs, she's walking over towards you.

Walking straight through the group of guys, she stands next to you, an intense glare in her eyes directed at the player that was flirting with you.

"Don't you have a match to warm up for?" She says, her tone is cold and icy. It's taking every ounce of self control she has to not wrap her arm around your hip and pull you into a deep kiss, claiming you as hers.

With fear in his eyes, the guy mutters "oh right, yeah we gotta go." and walks away, the rest of the players following close behind him.

You let out a sigh of relief and turn towards Rebecca, you're surprised to see the intense look that's lingering in her eyes.

"Thank you- are you okay?"

She takes a deep breath and tried to ground herself.

"Yes, are you?"

"Yeah, I'm fine, just the usual footballers acting like dogs. You sure you're okay?"

"Yes, I promise." She says, leaning into your ear. "Although it took ever ounce of self control I had to not show all of them that you're mine." She says with a low voice.

Your heart skips a beat and you feel your cheeks blush a bit.

"Well, that certainly would have been interesting, wouldn't it?" You joke.

"You have no idea."

"Rebecca Welton, I didn't know you were the jealous type."

"Neither did I, I suppose it's only when someone tries to take what's mine."

"Fuck." You whisper, your eyes meet hers. Her pupils are dilated just enough to know how sincere, and turned on, she is.

"I'm walking away now before I do something stupid." She says with a mischievous look in her eyes. She gives you a wink and walks back towards the group she was talking to before.

The players slowly leave and prepare for the match, leaving the room much emptier than before, although there's still a lot of people left. Walking around with a drink in your hand, you wander aimlessly, eventually landing by one of the windows and looking out onto the pitch.

Rebecca spots you from across the room and can't help but smile as she watches you gaze out the window. Her attention is pulled back into the conversation she was in and she turns back to the group.

You're not sure how much time had passed, since you ended up spacing out looking outside, but you're sure the match is going to start soon. Just as you're about to walk away you feel a hand wrap gently around your arm. Turning around, you find yourself face-to-face with no one other than Rupert Mannion, Rebecca's ex-husband. For a second you freeze, you can't stand this man. You're convinced that he's dedicated at least 75% of his life to trying to ruin Rebecca's - for whatever sick reason. Trying to keep your scowl at bay, you try and smile at him, hiding your distain.

"You must be from Richmond, there's no way someone so beautiful could be working at West Ham and get by me." He says, laying the charm on thick.

"Yes, I am from Richmond." You say, ignoring the last half of what he said.

"My name is Rupert Mannion, please, take a seat." He gestures to the two chairs near the window.

"Oh, that's okay-"

"I insist." He has a look in his eye that's telling you he isn't asking.

To avoid any more confrontation, you sit, trying to see if you spot Rebecca anywhere.

"I'm sorry, what was your name again?" He asks.

"Y/n."

"Oh yes, I've heard of you. You're one of the newer additions to the fine staff over at Richmond."

"Uh, yeah."

"So, y/n, tell me, what is it that you do?"

You begin to describe your job and what you do on a daily basis. The more you speak, the further Rupert leans in. If you didn't know any better, you would be smitten by his charm. He may be a bastard, but he's certainly a charming one.

"What a coincidence, we recently lost someone in a similar position here. You wouldn't be interested in it, would you? I can guarantee you a much higher salary here than you would be making over at Richmond."

"Uh, I appreciate the offer, but no thanks, I really like it over there."

Rupert lets out an obnoxiously fake laugh.

"Oh you're a funny one. Well at least think about it, for me." He says, practically batting his eyelashes.

"Uh-" The words suddenly disappear from your lips when he puts his hand on your knee, slowly sliding it up to the middle of your thigh. You freeze, not having any idea of what to do. Well, you want to scream at him to get off of you and run into Rebecca's arms, but that's not an option for a plethora of reasons.

"I would love to have someone as gorgeous as you in my office every day, y/n." He says, leaning in.

As if she has a sixth sense for trouble, Rebecca turns back to look at you and see's you with Rupert. Her jaw clenches when she see's him talking to you. Shifting her eyes down, she see's his hand on your thigh, coupled with the look on your face, she feels like every cell in her body is bursting with anger.

Walking away from the group, Rebecca makes it over to you in an instant. You're pulled from your frozen state when you feel a hand wrap around your wrist, pulling you up.

"Get your hands off of her." Rebecca snaps at Rupert.

"Rebecca, dear, how are you?" He says, glaring at her.

"Keep your hands off of my staff Rupert." She growls, pulling you behind her.

"Ah, always the protective one, must be that maternal instinct kicking in, isn't it?"

Rebecca's hand tightens around your wrist, that one had to have hurt, even if it was a little. She glares at him with an anger you've never seen before and Rupert puts his hands out in front of him, signaling he means no harm.

"Alright, alright, I was only getting acquainted with your new staff member, no need to get angry dear."

Rupert stands up and begins to walk away.

"It was so lovely meeting you, y/n."

Rupert walks out to the stands and Rebecca pulls you out of the room. Down the hall, she opens a random door and finds a supply closet, pulling you in, she closes the door and pins you up against it.

With her hot breath against your skin, your knees almost give out underneath you. Her pupils are completely blown as she stares down at you, a hungry look in her eyes.

"Rebecca-"

"Sh," she says, putting a finger over your lips. "those stupid football players I can deal with, but him, that fucking asshole, absolutely not."

"I didn't-"

"I know, trust me I know that was all him, but even still. You are mine."

Before you can even agree to her statement her lips are on yours, her tongue pushing it's way into your mouth. She kisses you rough and passionately, as if she'd die if she ever stopped. Her hands pull at the fabric on your body, pressing you into her as hard as possible.

"How I would love you take you bent over his desk right now." She pants as she kisses you hard. "But this will have to do."

Her hands travel to the waistline of your pants and she unbuttons them and pulls them down to your ankles along with your underwear.

Seeing her like this, so possessive, so protective, so hot for you, she didn't even need to touch you for the wetness between your legs to threaten to leak down your thighs.

Slender fingers find their way between your folds and you moan into her mouth as they circle your clit. Once you're stimulated even further and Rebecca's fingers are coated in your arousal, she slides two fingers into you effortlessly until she's knuckle deep. Your eyes roll to the back of your head and you bite down on your lip to suppress the moan.

Rebecca begins to pump her fingers in and out of you, you know this is going to be fast and rough and the thought is only making your center drip even more.

"You are mine. All mine." She says as she fucks you. "Mine to do whatever I please with, mine to fuck wherever and whenever I want to."

Your nails begin to dig into her skin as she rushes you towards the edge, you won't last long, not with how she's fucking you and talking to you. She knows what gets you going and today she's pulling out every trick in her book.

"Say it, tell me you're all mine." She growls in your ear.

"I'm- fuck- I'm all yours, only yours, yours to do whatever you- ah! want with."

She picks up the pace and presses the base of her hand against your clit, grinding into it with every thrust of her wrist.

"You're such a good girl, letting me take you wherever I want. Watching those boys flirt with you, god I wanted to take you right then and there."

"Yeah?" You whine.

"Yeah, bend you over that bar and fuck you senseless."

"Oh fuck, Rebecca, I'm gonna-"

"Good girl, that's it, cum for me, I want you to cum all over my fingers."

She thrusts harder and curls into you, driving you right to the edge. You bite down on the collar of her blazer to keep your moans from ringing out into the building. Grinding down on her you clench and she shoves you over the edge into bliss.

Your eyes roll to the back of your head and your vision goes white. Your legs tremble underneath you, gripping onto Rebecca for dear life. She pulls the orgasm out of you for as long as possible before finally pulling her fingers out.

You fall into her arms, your body almost completely limp. She catches you and holds you tight, licking her fingers clean. Resting your head against her chest, you lay there for a minute as you catch your breath and come back down to Earth. Rebecca runs her fingers through your hair and kisses you on the top of your head.

"You were so good for me, thank you my love." She whispers into your hair, pressing another kiss into it.

Standing up straight, she holds onto your waist until she's sure you're steady on your feet. She pulls your underwear and pants back up, buttoning and zippering them again. Cupping your face, she brings her lips to yours and kisses you. This kiss is nothing like the last one, this one is soft, tender, filled with love. You kiss her back and wrap your arms around her neck, pulling her close into you.

When your lips part she fixes the collar on your shirt and you fix her blazer and wipe away the smeared lipstick from her lip.

"I should get you jealous more often, holy shit Rebecca." You say with a giggle.

"Don't play with fire my love, you'll get burnt." She says, placing one last kiss on your lips.

The match started by the time you got back to your seats, you got a few questioning looks from Higgins and Keeley but you both ignored them and sat down and watched the game.

Richmond ended up losing, pretty badly at that. Even though the match was lost, both you and Rebecca left the match satisfied in a much different way.

[kakashixhatakesxwhore]

I'm in my feels rn and I need you to do an EverythingIsFine AU with Shisui where he's got like a baker gf or florist gf or something, I'm literally begging you for Shisui fluff🙏

i'm sorry y'all i'm going through my requests with a gun to my head rn i promise - thank you for this one, it was quite nice to write

Closing Time

Pairing: Shisui x GN!Reader

Summary: Our dear reader makes a mess in the back of their family's bakery right before they're done closing, and their favourite customer comes to their rescue.

W/c: 1.4K

Warnings: Couple swear words, I got hungry in the middle and started to crave a profiterole

Notes: btw Shisui is with the police force in this EIF!AU, lmk if this sucks

Masterlist💿

Crouching low, you flopped the fifty pound sack of flour over your shoulder. Your knees creaked and cracked as you stood up, steadying your footing before you started moving to the storage room. It was closing time, and you hadn't needed to bake any extra bread, so you had to take the extra flour back.

Easy task, on paper - one of the most grueling acts, when the time came.

Still, your strong, stubborn ass insisted upon working alone. Hell, you sometimes put fifteen hour days into the bakery, from the first loaf of bread in the morning, to this bullshit task.

The bell at the door rang with a clipped ding-a-ling, and you threw the bag of flour you were hauling onto a table carelessly.

So carelessly that it burst.

"Fuck!" You yelled as a massive, white cloud puffed up immediately.

The flour got in your mouth, it went up your nose, it was in your eyes. Cripes, you could feel it in your fucking hair.

"Oh, dear! Are you okay?" A familiar voice asked as you hacked up smaller white clouds.

Your favourite regular came beside you, concern so obviously etched into his features that you could see it through the blur. Wetting your mouth, and trying to push down the lumps in your throat, you croaked, "You can't be back here."

"Who cares? Your old man's not here, and you could have gotten hurt," Shisui quickly said, looking you over with an intense scrutiny as you rubbed your eyes. He looked around, at the white, fluffy mess that surrounded you, and grumbled, "Why were you even lifting more than twenty kilos? If it was that important, you could have asked me-"

"It's my job, not yours, officer," you quipped, still feeling the burn up your nose. "Besides, I didn't even mean to do that-"

"Well, I suppose not," he grinned. 

You rolled your eyes and started to brush the flour on your shoulders onto the flour, shaking out your hair in the process. With an anguished gaze, you looked at the bag of flour, with a now gaping hole.

"What can I do to help?" Shisui asked, making you look at him. He smiled warmly, "You're so close to closing, and this will take you forever to clean up alone."

You sighed, "Alright, fine... you can sweep."

"Ooh, lucky me," he hummed as you retrieved the broom from the corner beside the mixers.

Giving Shisui the broom, you thanked him with a small voice, and his smile only deepened. You got a few containers to empty the good flour into and put them on a different metal table. Shisui was crouched, trying to get the dirt from beneath the table, as you leaned over the bag again to move it to the other table.

Immediately, Shisui shot up and moved you away. "Nuh uh. I've got it."

"You're not getting paid for this, need I remind you," you quipped as he struggled to gather the strangely weighted sack in his arms. 

"Your- eh- smile-" Shisui shuffled over to the other table, groaning a little as he set the burst bag down gently before he beamed, "-is payment enough."

"You're as sweet as the pastries you buy," you hummed softly, moving to stand beside him.

Cheeks tinting red, Shisui's eyes darted away from your face, but couldn't seem to stay away for long. With a nervous chuckle, he dipped his head, gulped, then returned to the broom.

A small smile rested on your lips as you siphoned the remaining forty-nine pounds of flour into the two containers you had gotten out. They had airtight seals, so their freshness wouldn't be an issue - besides, you were set to open tomorrow morning, so no one would even have to deal with the flour already being in a container.

If anything, you were making tomorrow's job a little easier, by making your night a little bit more tedious. 

"I'm sorry by the way," you said with a grunt as you popped the lids onto the containers, leaning on them with all of your weight. "Some- fucking, go on- some Chunin came in about twenty minutes ago and cleaned me out, so all I've got left is bread."

"I like bread," Shisui remarked, dumping a dustpan of flour in the trash. 

"Good, there's a loaf of bread with your name on it then," You giggled, looking away from Shisui as soon as he looked at you. "Do you like my bread more than my eclairs?"

Pulling the two containers to the edge of the table, you lifted one up and slid it on the ledge under the table. Shisui came beside you and took the second container before you could, putting it beside the first with more obvious ease than you had. 

You both stood straight, facing each other. You grinned nervously, heart pattering around your chest madly, as Shisui looked down at you with a gracious smile. His dark eyes sparkled so beautifully, even in the shit bakery lighting.

"No," he mumbled. "I like your eclairs more than anything."

"More than my madeleines?" You tested, narrowing your eyes some.

Shisui laughed, "I choose your eclairs."

"What about a profiterole?" 

Bending his knees, and throwing his head back, Shisui nodded and hissed, "You got me."

He was your favourite customer for a reason.

"Well, alas, you'll just have to come back in tomorrow for a proper sweet," you sighed contently, finally moving again to continue the few closing activities you still had to do. "And come in earlier; you might even get a pastry when it's still warm."

Collecting the dried dishes into your hands, you started to put them away when Shisui joined you in the task. You shook your head and stole the whisk he had picked up.

"Would you like an application?" You asked, putting the whisk into the whisk bin.

"No," he chuckled. "I just want to help you."

"Sweetie, if I could give you anything more than a loaf of white bread in return, I'd be okay with that - but as it stands-"

"I told you," Shisui hummed, picking up three wooden spoons in the same handful. "Your smile is payment enough."

"If I didn't know how much you liked my pastries, I'd accuse you of coming in here so often just to flirt with me," you chortled, putting up a stack of containers. 

Drawing a breath, Shisui said, "Well... as much as I like your sweet treats..."

"Oh, shush, you philanderer," you scoffed playfully, flipping the dish rack upside down. Without looking at Shisui, you drew to the very back and started to turn off the lights. First the storage room. "Besides-" Then the fridge. "-I know damn-well you'd pick even a madeleine over me."

"M'kay, first of all, definitely not a madeleine, and not even one of your profiteroles," Shisui started. "Secondly, I am not a philanderer - whoever told you that lied-"

"Nobody told me anything of the sort," you told him with a quirked brow. You shrugged at the confused expression Shisui wore, "I just kinda assumed-"

"Why?"

"I mean, c'mon," you chuckled. Shisui only furrowed his eyebrows and shook his head as you approached him. You opened your mouth, but closed it, trying to pick your words more carefully now. After a second, you mumbled, "Well, you're so charming... and people don't often, y'know, just flirt with me at work... not unless they want me to come home with them, and you're always coming in so late in the evening..."

"People ask you to go home with them?" He asked, surprised and aghast.

Maybe you should have taken a slight offense to his tone, because why wouldn't someone want to take you home? But, at the same time, he didn't seem surprised at that thought - he seemed surprised that people had that kind of audacity.

"Not much, but it happens," you stated, trying to be neutral. "Why? Not your intention?"

Shisui shook his head quickly and stuttered, "No, not at all- well- no, no."

Alright, that one got you. He didn't want to take you home at all? Shit, he really was just a good customer-

"So, what is your intention in coming in almost every day, in helping me even when I'm a bitch about it?" You asked, crossing your arms tentatively.

"You're never a bitch about anything," Shisui assured you.

You shook your head, staying firm. "Answer the question; what do you expect-"

"Look, I don't expect anything," he sighed. Suddenly, Shisui took your hands in his. His skin was as soft as a pearl, though the pads of his fingers were rough. "And it's not that I don't want to take you home-" You looked up from where your hands were joined, into his eyes that danced with nervousness. "-I just... I wanna take you on a date first."

"Okay," you agreed instantly.

Shisui's smile broke across his face. "Really?"

"Yeah," you grinned, squeezing his hands. "Help me close up first, though."

"Okay, so long as there's a loaf of bread and a warm smile at the end of the rainbow."

[docholligay]

Inspired by the person who asked for essential kitchen/cooking items: What would you put inside a beginner’s baking kit with a budget of 600$? Also, can you recommend a cookbook to go with this kit?

First of all, I want to say that this question is asked perfectly. Firm budget, noted for a beginner, noted that it is BAKING we're interested in mostly. I love the specificity.

Now, you may not be aware of this, but you live in Germany and I live in America. So the prices and availability may differ WILDLY.

But this is how *I* would spend $600 USD, for a beginner, and the cookbook I would include for it. It also assumes that I can't go to thrift stores and get some of this, which is how I slowly built up a kitchen. This is 'I want to buy it from a store, today'

Stand mixer-- Hamilton Beach 7 speed, $120.00

I CAN HEAR YOU NOW. 'but Doooooooooocccccc, what about a Kitchenaiiiiiiiidddddddd?" Kitchenaids are fine. They're fucking fine. They're like Le Creuset though: They are more about the appearance of having one than the having one. ESPECIALLY at the classic level, which is the entry level. * For entry level, the Hamilton Beach is PERFECTLY fine, and costs more than one hundred dollars less. The motor is actually more powerful in the Hamilton Beach!

Why a stand mixer at all? You can absolutely make do without one: My mom and I were talking about how things were at times hardscabble in our family, and she made whipped cream WITH A WHISK AND BOWL. Can absolutely be done. But, it's a lot easier and more fun with a stand mixer. If I had this budget, I would put it toward this.

T-Fal Airbake Cookie Sheet -- $36.00

I have no idea why this is impossible to find all of a sudden, I hope they aren't discontinuing them. Doc, is this really worth the price? Yes. The air circulation in the bottom makes for better cookie outcomes for many types of cookies. I wouldn't use this for anything that's not a cookie, but it helps the cookie be more cooked in the middle without burning on the bottom, which is a common problem.

Fat daddio's 9 inch cake pan -- $15.00 (x2, so $30.00)

Doc, didn't you say you use an 8 inch pan? Yes, I prefer the higher loft of the cake and also I know how to adapt cook times for it. I would not do that to a beginner. Most recipes are made for 9 inch pans! I say buy two because many recipes call for two 9 inch rounds and it can cause problems to cook them back to back instead of together. We want to help out where we can.

Nordicware Baker's half sheets-- $30.00

Doc, you already had me buy a cookie sheet. Yes well, rolls, croissants, macaroons, tuiles, sponge cake for a jelly roll, etc, none of those can go on an airbake. These are more all-rounder workhorses.

Nordicware one pound loaf pan -- $13.00

banana bread is one of the easiest things to make, and you need a loaf pan for that. It's good to have even if you are not a crazy person who never gets into bread! Also essential for pound cakes.

Nordicware cupcake/muffin tin -- $18.00

I know I'm bringing Nordicware up a lot, and there are other brands I use and own FOR SURE, but it's just a really solid quality one stop shopping brand. Anyway, you need to make cupcakes!

Emile Henry pie dish -- $50.00

Bitch, why are you all of a sudden having me buy a fifty dollar pie dish? Because I have a great budget, and pie is one of the few things you basically have to serve out of the container you cook it in, so when possible, I like it to look nice. Also, like most of the things I have here, it will last FOREVER. 90% of this list is ALSO great for people looking to trade up to better quality stuff. I have two of these, I fucking love them, and there is a huge difference in bake quality between them and the Albertsons brand ceramic one because of the clay in it.

Fire-King Glass 9 x 13 Pan -- $16.00

This is for brownies, sheet cakes, cookie bars, and cinnamon rolls in some styles of making them!

Fire-King Glass 8 x 8 Pan -- $12.00

I mostly use this for fudge, but bear in mind I cook for a lot of people--this is a great size for small amounts of bread pudding, a small thing of brownies, etc.

Marble rolling pin -- $30.00

So people who bake have OPINIONS on rolling pins, and different styles and materials. This is my guy. Marble, standard American style rolling pin. I don't like French style rolling pins, but plenty of people do! Your person will not know what their individual preferences are until they get into it themselves, but for now let's assume I'm right about everything.

Danish dough whisk -- $12.00

Great for breads, batters, things that you want to be careful not to overstir. It's one of the best things I've found in the last few years.

So I've spent $349.00 of your money. From here all you need are really straightforward basics that I don't think I need to suggest brands for: Spatulas, scrapers, a whisk, a mixing bowl or two (Though if anyone would like to buy me a huge mason and cash bowl, I'm all ears. But, like, a mixing bowl is a mixing bowl). Measuring cups and spoons if they don't have that, obviously. I would say a digital scale but most American beginners are not going to fuck with that, *I* barely fuck with that unless I'm doing bread. You could upgrade the stand mixer if you want, though the one I consider an upgrade in a real, tangible way DOES put you right at 600 with very little wiggle room, and for a new beginner I just don't know.

You could buy stuff for bread if they decide they'd really enjoy hating themselves actively.

So I'd probably get some spices and a nice vanilla and do all that with it.

Oh! The Coobook!

The Cookbook I recommend for absolutely everything is The Joy of Cooking. I have given it for countless housewarmings and weddings and graduations. It is the ne plus ultra of learning how to cook. I even use it, often. If I could only keep one cookbook this would be it. Great variety, excellently tested recipes, sections on technique. Best cookbook.

But if I HAVE to pick a baking-specific one, I actually love the old baking books, which were like, 'How not to fuck this up, new homemaking wife' and not made to be aspirational, wow wouldn't it be great if I actually cooked, books, as many are now. But there's two I like! The King Arthur Baker's Companion, and How to Bake Everything by Mark Bittman. I prefer KAF, but Bittman is FANTASTIC at writing very very simple recipes for people who GENUINELY struggle with coking and baking.

*"Well then what do YOU use?" Babygirl the mixer I use was more than the entire budget for this project. It was a combination Hanukkah and Birthday present, and only because I bake enough, and for enough people, to justify it.

[frieschan]

QUERENCIA, chapter 3

(n.) where one feels home ; the place where you are your most authentic self

pairing - hybrid! ot7 x bunny hybrid! male! reader

genre - 18+, college au, hybrid au, fluff, eventual angst, eventual smut, humour

summary - you, a rabbit hybrid away from home to study, run into a group of surprisingly friendly and calm (also very attractive) predators who are a pack and live together suddenly run into your life like a bulldozer. the dull days of your life may turn into days of joy and laughter, or will the days turn into gloom and a sad everafter?

warnings (this chapter) - use of curseword, someone blacking out

word count - 2.9k

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You and Jihoon were staying at your apartment. Having a fun little sleepover since her major was kicking her ass at the moment. It was around mid-morning, 9 am. To your absolute shock, The ocelot hybrid has woken up at a normal-ish time. Only bad part was that she suddenly wanted to bake something at your house, together. You didn't have any baking supplies or appliances, mostly finding yourself to be the type to cook instead of bake.

"C'mon! let's go to the mall and shop!"-

"And you're going to pay..?"

"Hell yeah! I got my allowance from my girlfriend!"

"God I feel bad for her...."

"I'm being a good girlfriend ya know!!"

That was how you found yourself at a mall, with an ecstatic Jihoon, excited to spend every dime and dollar she had on creating baked goods. You were sure you’d be the one doing half, if not all the work though. You and Jihoon arrive at the department store of the mall, her already dragging you to the appliances section to buy the needed equipment. You looked at all the mixers, pots, pans, all the baking galore. They all looked as you expect, pretty much perfect and shiny. One of the mixing stands had caught your eye, it looked like any other mixer but it had an adorable rose-gold color. You just felt the need to have it so you approached it, not minding the wild Jihoon behind you that was close to breaking just about everything in the store. You held your breath as you were about to flip the price tag to show you how much it was, quickly releasing it when you realized it was a good price. As you were about to turn around and tell Youngji about it, your words stuck in your throat as you saw a familiar wolf hybrid

“Hey Y/N! Meet my friends, Namjoon and Hoseok!” Jihoon waved you down from the tool section of the store. You gulped down your nerves and walked to them.

“Hey there bun, we met on the metro right?” Namjoon greeted you with a dimpled smile and hand stretched out. “I’m Namjoon, The wolf you met.”

You took his hand with a shy smile and red cheeks. This certainly wasn’t how you were expecting to see the two of them again. “Y/N, if it isn’t obvious enough I’m a bunny” You laughed nervously.

You then looked at his friend next to him, He was near Namjoon’s height. A fox hybrid. He had sharp features, a perfect nose, high cheekbones, and a heart grin on his lips. He was just as handsome as the rest of the guys you’ve met these days. Seeing as you were looking at him, he introduced himself

“I’m Hoseok, but you can call me Hobi!” He greeted with an excited grin plastered on his face. The moment he had your hand, he shook it aggressively with his tail wagging behind him. Honestly, if he wasn’t a fox, he’d be a dog hybrid with how energetic he is. You loved his energy though! He was like the best friend you never knew you needed. He was honestly adorable, another potential for a mate.

“Anyway, what brings you two here!” Jihoon exclaimed, puffing up her chest and pushing out more of her alcohol-smelling scent. You almost forgot Jihoon was an alpha, and that you forgot to stuff your nose and scent glands with scent blockers.

“Well Jihoon, we were out doing errands for a pack member.” Namjoon answered while Hobi was side-eyeing Jihoon, looking her up and down with distaste on his face and his tail swishing behind his back. It was honestly hilarious

“No wonder! I was about to ask why the great Namjoon was in the baking section when he’d burn a damn house down!”

“Oh fuck off Jihoon, you’d set a neighborhood on fire with your skills.” Namjoon retorted with a roll of his eyes, right before bursting out laughing with Hobi. You couldn’t help but chuckle at the antics of the three.

“Since Hobi and Y/N have the most skill out of us, you two can lead the group while me and Namjoon will just be behind the two of you” Jihoon suggested with a grin, quick to push the two of you to the front with a glint in her eye that you couldn’t understand. I mean, this was Jihoon, she was probably just gonna be weird with Namjoon.

You started walking with Hobi, keeping your eyes straight ahead and trying not to embarrass yourself in front of him. You did take a few quick glances at him and he looked so calm, with a lazy smile on his face to reflect his attitude at the moment. You didn’t notice that with your actions at the moment, you were unconsciously pushing out your scent without knowing.

“I like your scent, Y/N” Hobi softly smiled at you, looking back at him with red cheeks. “It makes me feel calm honestly”

“I’m guessing you like the smell of baked goods?” You giggled softly, taking a deep breath before offering him your wrist. He in return, was quite surprised at your action but welcomed it. Hobi didn’t grab your wrist, but instead just softly smelled your scent gland and smiled. He really is a gentleman. You were grateful that he was an alpha that was one of a kind, an alpha that was kind and treated omegas with respect. He pulled away and offered you a thankful heart grin.

“You can take my wrist if you’d like..”

“Oh no it’s alright, just your scent from here is enough. You were kind of pushing it out a bit..” He teased you and laughed, not a mocking laugh but an amused laugh. His laugh was contagious, it was like something that triggered a domino effect to anyone who heard it, you just happened to be one of those people.

“I mean, I’m not the one that likes my scent.” You laughed with him and smacked his arm lightly with a grin that mirrored his. You saw how his tail was wagging around excitedly and shaked with each one of his laughs.

As the two of you laughed, you didn’t notice how Jihoon and Namjoon were somewhat conversing seriously. Their tails still, their gazes were neutral and close to cold. Jihoon’s arms were behind her back while Namjoon’s were crossed.

“You’re interested in courting Y/N to be packmate?” Jihoon said cooly and glared at Namjoon, close to baring her teeth at him. Namjoon simply nodded at her, keeping his stance and showing he isn’t scared of her.

“I’ll have you know, Y/N is my packmember in the pack of my girlfriend and I. You’ll need to get our approval first before you’ll be able to court him. You and your pack better be ready to work for it.”

“We are. My pack and I have already talked about it and we are ready to prove that we are more than capable of taking care of whatever Y/N needs.” 

“Then, we’ll be talking more about this later. When your pack is present and when my girlfriend is present. I’ll talk to Y/N if he’s interested.. And if he’s not..”

Jihoon was quick to move, grabbing Namjoon by his collar even if she was a few inches shorter, the two of them so close together. She made sure to push out more of her scent and to bare her teeth at him. Jihoon was going to show him who had the authority over you between the two of them. Jihoon was also smart enough to make sure the two of you were far enough away so they couldn’t smell the bitterness of her scent currently.

“You better fucking stay away, Namjoon.” Jihoon growled, before dropping his collar and walking away, back to their spot previously behind the two of you. “Good luck, dear pack alpha.” Jihoon mouthed at Namjoon before turning back to you guys and smiling at your interaction with Hobi. Jihoon could see the way you looked at Hobi, the same sparkle in your eye like when you had a boyfriend. Jihoon swore on her life that she will protect you no matter what and no matter what it takes.

“Well, I didn’t know it was already 7 in the afternoon.” You said while glaring at Jihoon, her chuckling nervously in return. “How the hell did we even stay here for 9 hours?!”

Hobi laughed while Namjoon just sighed. “Hobi and I can take you guys home with all the stuff you brought” He offered.

“Are you sure? I live kind of far from the mall.” You said dejectedly, truly you were grateful for the offer, but you were scared to burden the two alphas when you were sure you and Jihoon could find another way home. The alphas were quick to comfort you and pat you on the head, saying that it was more than alright for them to take the both of you home. Little did you know, they had started to smell the rain on your scent which in turn made them worried so they were quick to comfort you.

You watched as the two alphas haul all the stuff into the truck on Hobi’s car, which was a black Porsche Panamera GTS that has Jihoon absolutely awestruck while you were just making silly faces on your reflection that was on the car. The two alphas have succeeded in hauling all the stuff into the trunk, Namjoon’s strength helping well. 

“I’m calling shotgun!” Jihoon said with a grin, before looking at Namjoon with an unreadable expression. It was as if Jihoon was testing him, but you didn’t read too much into the situation. Opting to just get into the car and wait for the rest to also go in.

The car ride was fairly quiet, Jihoon and Hobi occasionally making jokes and talking about how each of them have been, and Jihoon telling Hobi what your address is. You occasionally heard a mention of a ‘Jungkook’ or a ‘Yoongi’ but you were sure it was probably just a coincidence. A lot of people possibly had that name anyway. You decided to just admire the outside, seeing either dozens of trees or dozens of buildings. 

The 4 of you had finally arrived at your apartment. The werewolf and fox quick to get out and bring all the stuff into the lobby and get ready to get on the elevator, you and Jihoon trying to help but the other two were adamant about letting the ladies do minimal work. Now you were in your apartment, organizing all the stuff while Jihoon kept Hobi and Namjoon entertained. You couldn’t hear what they were talking about, but with Jihoon’s chatty nature, you were sure she kept the two of them busy. Just as you finished putting the last piece of equipment into one of your cabinets, you rushed into the living room.

“I apologize if my apartment is a bit small and messy, I didn’t have time to clean it” You smiled apologetically at Hobi and Namjoon. “Jihoon also made a big mess.” Which was followed by a chorus of complaints from the ocelot and laughs from the fox and wolf. 

“Don’t worry about it bun, Hobi and I are about to leave anyway.” Namjoon said dejectedly, wanting to stay a bit more in your apartment. Hobi looked just the same as his pack member. “Namjoon needs to continue doing his nerdy things and I need to rehearse for a dance competition.” 

Your ears had perked up when you heard the word dance from Hobi’s mouth. He did look lean but flexible like a dancer. “Since the both of you are leaving, I’ll give you two my number so we can talk more and maybe hangout next time?” You smiled, hoping they’d accept and that the three of you would grow closer. Namjoon looked at Jihoon with a questioning glance, Jihoon responding with a nod. The two of them jumped up from the couch to copy your number and save it, after that they bid goodbye and left your apartment.

“They were really nice..” You whispered with a big grin, quick to drop onto the couch and giggle like a highschool girl with a crush.

“You like them?” Jihoon asked, looking up at her with a thinking face. You nodded. 

“I don’t know if they like me though, or even if their pack would want me in.” 

“Oh trust me ‘mega, they do like you.” She smiled while patting your head, careful not to brush your ears on accident. “They’re a 7 member pack, with only alphas.” 

You looked at Jihoon, shocked, and confused on why it sounded somewhat familiar.

“Their pack is interested in courting you ‘mega… I trust Namjoon and Hobi enough to let them court you, but Yuna and I need to talk to their pack first. Is that alright?” Jihoon said softly, you looked up at her with the happiest grin and eyes that held a big sparkle.

You jumped up from your position and tackled Jihoon from her spot on the couch, hugging her and squealing about how thankful you were. Then you started getting emotional, tears prickling and about to burst while your lips were shaking.

“Do you think.. Do you think they’ll be better than him? Do you think I’ll finally try love again?” You whispered while hugging Jihoon tight. You could feel her rubbing your back and comforting you to the best of her abilities.

“I know they’ll be better than him ‘mega, he never deserved you.. He was nothing but garbage and you were just too deep in it.” Jihoon comforted you, one hand rubbing your back and the other scratching behind your ear.

“Would you like me to get Yuna to come here and we’ll have a big cuddling sesh while watching netflix?”

“Yes please..”

Right now, you were walking home in the rain from your classes. There were only three classes that lasted around an hour and 10 minutes. You had your headset on, playing some piano instrumentals. Your left hand was holding the umbrella while the right was hugging your shoulder tote close. The rain wasn’t too hard but it was safer to not drive in the weather. The path you were taking was a path that not a lot of people took, not that it was those sketchy alleys, but it was more because it was a residential area that was mostly full of old people. 

As you walked, you noticed a man crouched and hunched over a box, he had an umbrella covering him and the box and he was seemingly trying to grab what was inside. That was until you heard it, you heard the whimpers of a bunny. The moment you heard it, you immediately sped-walk to the same box the man was huddled over, in fear and worry of what was wrong with the bunny.

The man saw you and was worried about what you were about to do, but when he got a glimpse of your rabbit ears, he knew it was better to let you do what you wanted. 

“Oh god, is the bunny alright?”

“I’m not sure, I just saw it out here while walking to the convenience store.”

You started to feel the worry bubble up inside you and you didn’t notice you started lightly thumping your foot. The man looked at you and you looked back. He had plushy lips and slightly chubby cheeks. You could see his leopard ears and his tail curled up underneath him, seemingly trying to avoid the rain. His dark brown and curly hair were a pretty contrast to his brightly colored ears. You then got hit by his scent, it was a smell of toasty wood, indicating he is an alpha.

“I feel like it’d be better if you were the one to take the poor thing home, I don’t think it would like being surrounded by me and my pack. Plus, you are also a rabbit.”

You nodded in response, putting your umbrella in between your armpit and grabbing the box and hugging it to your chest. It had a singular bunny, it was a black bunny that reminded you of your nieces and nephews. The leopard introduced himself as Jin and asked for your number, so he could ask for updates on the bunny and help take care of it. 

“It was nice meeting you Jin and I hope you make it home safely.”

You dictated your number before giving him a thankful smile and walking away, making sure to be cautious with the rabbit. 

After 10 minutes of walking home with the bunny, you arrived home and rushed to get inside your house. Texting Jihoon about the situation and deciding it’d be better if the bunny stayed at theirs instead of your home. Your home was too much of a mess from the wild baking you and Jihoon had been doing from last night while Yuna was watching. Jihoon was quick to arrive at your house, pick up the bunny and give you a nod of good luck. You knew she had a soft spot for bunnies and rabbits alike because her mate and her best friend were both one.

As you sighed and leaned back into the couch, you could feel yourself growing more weak and weak, and it felt like you couldn’t function properly. You tried to get up to get a glass of water, until your vision started to develop black spots and you just dropped.

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TAGLIST - @blehhhidk, @instantnarwhal, @singukieee, @weepyalex, @kaceypdf (just comment or dm to be added in masterlist !!, crossed out are people I couldn't tag)

notes - sorry this took too long! but what do you think will happen to y/n now that he blacked out in his home? with no one to help?!

copyright © 2023 | frieschan

[lizzieislife94x]

One Night Stand (e.o)

LizziexG!P Reader

If you have any requests message me with your request and I'll do my best at bringing it to life :) I have no requests so yall can have this lmao

Y/ns POV:

"DRINK DRINK DRINK DRINK" I hear my friends shout and I laugh grabbing my vodka and mix and start downing it gently slamming it on the table with a smile "easyyy" I smirk and walk over to the bar to get another drink as I'm waiting for the bartender I see this gorgeous blonde at the other end of the bar and we lock eyes she gives me a shy smile as I smile back Iorder my drink and whisper shout to the bartender "and also get the blonde at the end of the bar whatever she's drinking" he smiles and nods as I hand him the money and look over at the blonde sending her a wink as I walk back to my friends, we're all chilling enjoying the music and 2 of my friends pull me up to the dance floor and I groan they know I don't dance but they always do this, we make our way through the sea of dancing bodies until we find a spot and dance to the beat of the music I'm almost lost in the music when I feel someone place a hand on my shoulder, I smile wide when I notice the blonde from the bar "hey I'm lizzie thank you for the drink" she yells over the music "don't worry about it can't have a beautiful woman buying her own drinks can i" I smile and notice the blush on her face "hey do you want to dance with me" she yells and I nod as we dance in beat to the music I place my hands on her waist as we sway to the music next thing I know she turns and starts grinding her ass against my crotch area pushing back harder turning her head with her lip between her teeth, fuck fuck please don't get hard you have more control than this I'm sadly defeated by my not so little friend downstairs fuck I hope she cant feel it, we continue to dance and now I know she's doing it on purpose grinding harder each time if she doesn't stop I'm going to bust all over my boxers and that would be embarrassing I got to defuse the situation I lean in and whisper in her ear "hey um let's go get another drink I'm so thirsty" she nods and grabs my hand leading me to the bar area which is less crowded phew I can breath I lean against the bar hiding my rock hard member as I get the bartenders attention "2 vodka and mixers please" he goes to get our drinks and lizzie places her hand on my thigh leaning in to my ear "you can hide it all you want I already know I got your little friend to stand to attention" she says seductively and I try to hide my embarrassment "I um I'm so sorry" she bites her lip " don't be as soon as I felt you twitch when I was dancing against you my goal was to get you nice and hard" fuck she knew what she was doing she's playing with fire I will fuck her brains out till she can't walk "oh yeah? How about we get out of here and go back to mine I'm not that far from here" I suggest and she nods so we head out and make our way to my house with a little small talk on the way.

As soon as we get inside her lips as on mine and her hand grabs my belt as I moan I switch position and press her to the wall as I attack her neck kissing and sucking making sure to leave my marks, smirking as I find her sweet spot I slide my knee between her legs applying the right amount of pressure to her core as I continue to leave Hickeys over her neck "please fuck me I need to feel your hard cock deep inside my tight needy pussy" she breaths with amoan and fuck I feel my dick getting harder as I pick her up taking her to my bedroom and gently throwing her on the bed "strip now" I say with a dominating tone as she smirks doing what I said "yes daddy" fuck now she's done it I start to strip myself down to my boxers slowly pushing them down watching her as my harden member springs out to action and all I see is lust I make my way over to her and take her hardened nipples into my mouth sucking like a baby expecting milk her moans are fucking sexy I switch giving the other nipple the same attention both of us lost in lust I make my way down to her soaked pussy as she stops me "please fuck me first I just need to feel you we can do foreplay later", she begs and I flip her onto her hands and knees rubbing my hard cock between her folds the noises she's making her begging is doing something no one has ever done tome before I just want to fuck her so hard she can't walk for a week I bite my lip and slam deep inside her tight little cunt as she releases a pornographic moan fuck it's like she's woke something in me, I grab her legs putting them over my shoulders slamming into her a brutal pace "fuck FUCKKKK y/n don't stop fuck you feel so good inside me" I moan and thrust deeper hitting her gspot over and over "so fucking tight lizzie you take me so well" I feel her walls tighten and thrust faster chasing my own high I can feel the sweet release coming "I'm cumming" i groan releasing deep inside her  as she cums with a scream panting trying to steady her breathing I slow my thrusts and smile down at her "wow that was fucking" I start to say "amazing " she finishes I lay beside her and catch my breath "fuck I've been here 3 hours it's 6am I need to get home to get ready for work" I laugh and stand up pulling my boxers on waiting for her yo get dressed as I write my number down "in case you ever want to go for another round in the sheets" I smirk walking her to the door and she bites her lip "that wouldn't make it a one night stand y/n" she smirks walking away leaving me grinning like a fool "but I will keep it just incase" I laugh and go inside to shower fuck she was something else.

6 weeks later: 

Unknown number: Hey is this y/n?..

i look at the text on my phone a little confused as i start to reply

Me:Um yeah who's this?.. 

Unknown number:I don't know if you remember me but my names lizzie we met a few weeks ago in the club and spent the night together

I smirk instantly remembering her she brought something out in me my only goal was to fuck her senseless 

Me:Yeah I remember you what's up you ready for round 2 lol 😆

Lizzie 😊Haha can we meet for coffee or something I'm free now if you want meet meet this address (random coffee shop) 

Me:Um yeah OK I'll head over now

I grab my car keys and head to the address she gave me it took me about 20 mins to drive to the shop I park up and head inside looking around for the beautiful blonde and instantly spot her walking over "hey you ok?" I smile as I sit down she looks scared or worried as she looks down "I'm ahh I'm " she stutters playing with her fingers "hey just tell me its ok what's wrong" she looks up at me with a worried look "I'm pregnant y/n" i freeze unable to form words as her news sinks in after a minute I lean over to grab her hand and squeeze gently "hey its ok whatever you choose to do ill support you ill always be there to help I'd never expect you to do it alone" she looks almost relieved and smiles "really? I can't have an abortion I'd never do that so I'm keeping the baby are you ok with that" I smile as the thought of having a baby enters my mind "I'm more than ok I'm gonna have a baby and I promise I'll be there on call 24/7 during the pregnancy and the babies life I will always provide for our little Prince or princess" I say with a huge grin and she smiles "thank god I was afraid you would tell me to get rid of it " I shake my head "I would never dream of it" we sat and enjoyed the day together discussing how things would happen in the up coming months, fuck I'm gonna be a mom.

 AN: if a one shot is a request I'll mention it at the top of the page if not its one that I've made up not sure how this one is dunno if it makes sense but I hope you enjoy let me know your thoughts 😊 if you have a request message me, have a great day people and remember drink some water stay hydrated lmao hope you have a great day/night beautiful people (if your reading this) haha anyway word count for this chapter is 1.6k ����

[haveihitanerve]

Batfam as quotes I have said

Fuck you Darla, no one asked your opinion- Jason I can literally feel the shit creeping out of my ass- Jason Bro if I had a time machine to see who invented math… mass genocide- Tim Love his eyebrows- Steph We’re a power couple, don’t move us- Steph I’m sorry who shat in your coffee- Steph Well im already pale so the cold will just add to my vampire esque…. Status.-Tim Hes got a fucking HUGE ass mouth. If you know whatimean. -Dick I don't wanna get on a horse. I wanna lay on my couch and suffer. Let me do that. In peace.-Barbara ‘Brush on meat during last 15 minute-‘ you last 15 fucking minutes?!?!-Steph God forbid someone touched the door!-Dick Why are you fondling the orange still?-Jason The demand on slaves went down the second he went on the market-Tim Can I sell a corpse? I’m sure it’s great value…..    Does anyone want to buy some meat?....-Jason You have to sleep? Come on. What??   I could just drug you…-Damian MY FINGERS CANT REACH THAT FAR DAMMIT-Damian I do not want to walk into the room and hear you moaning while eating nuts.-Bruce(about tim) I’m a semen mixer?- Bruce(confused) Dang! It was always my dream, you know, have a seizure on stage.-Dick Sharp as a marble in the attic that one- Barbara(about dick) I decided to greet the wall with my face this morning-Jason Oh yeah no I chugged a twelve pack and passed out, figured I’d wake up feeling great or not at all.-Dick of course, I’m not an uncultured swine.-Damian Bro looks like the spawn of disappointment and sadness.-Tim(about tim) There’s orphans in his room.-Dick(about bruce) Don’t get pissed on by the gods.-Jason Oh that's good. It’s like Ryan reynolds and Ryan gosling are having a baby on my tongue-Duke Did I ask? No? Then why the little FUCK would you answer?!?- Tim I understand it every other Friday and the first Saturday of each month- Duke When your browsing history is getting just lil suspicious 🤏- Tim My mental stability is about as stable as a rhino standing on stilts made of cottage cheese so…-Tim Split the casualties amiright- Jason You are the chosen one. Do not fight it- Damian I am the attraction *hair flip*- Cass I’m pretty confident my last words will be ‘well shit. That didn’t work’- Steph

thats all for now!

[inoreuct]

okay okay yes chef sanji is wonderful but baker sanji. confectioner sanji. think about it.

sanji kneading dough on a saturday morning with his shirtsleeves rolled up to the elbow. he has flour on his cheeks and one of those cute canvas aprons the colour of a brown paper bag with a million pockets and he keeps getting pissed off because strands of his bangs are constantly falling into his face. he makes sourdough and cheesecake and strawberry pavlova and tangerine tarts and dried mango nougat and carrot cupcakes that everybody eyed suspiciously before they actually tried them and now they're a friend group favourite.

he makes monthly batches of those agar-agar edible crystals for vivi's entire family and ships them by the crate to alabasta. he bakes robin and franky's blue raspberry black forest wedding cake. all of the straw hats have multiple packets of his dark chocolate dried fruit and nut and oat yoghurt brittle in their bags at any one time because they're the perfect snack and they're delicious. he makes red bean matcha mochi for zoro because the mosshead can't tolerate anything too sweet.

he has jar upon jar of aromatic infusions on the shelf: vanilla, black pepper, florals, all steeped in liquor to make high-quality extracts that he has gotten MULTIPLE offers to start a business out of, but he always declines because hello. he's busy cooking for straw hats and co.. luffy and fam. he has no time he is a busy busy man and would you look at that chopper's upside-down apple crumble is ready.

usopp makes him all sorts of contraptions, a high-speed blender, a state-of-the-art stand mixer, an ice-cream machine; sometimes if he's feeling lazy he'll go equipment shopping with sanji and just modify whatever they buy. sanji has a toffee hook on the wall of the galley and a very formidable collection of cookie cutters and piping tips. he's managed to make fondant that doesn't taste like utter trash and it's legendary. his salted caramel cashew macadamia popcorn has and will continue to make grown men cry.

but sometimes, he just chucks some charcoal in a pot and plops it in the middle of the dining table with a bowl of chocolate on top and brings out the fruit skewers, or the marshmallows and graham crackers. sometimes they eat rice krispy treats out of the packaging as they huddle together on the lawn and stargaze just because they can. sometimes the almond and dried cranberry combo just can't be beat and sometimes plain toast with butter makes you see god. but you'd best believe the next day he's up and at it again; his sourdough starter's looking more and more like a sentient life form by the hour and he has seven different things going on at once with two more bowls cooling off in the fridge and the oven preheating. i love baker confectioner sanji.

[gingerjolover]

prompt/blurb: different types of dates the boys would plan

first off, i LOVE this ask and i love the idea of the boys going on dates like we see their outings on insta i think they would be so into dates even if youre in a long term relationship

these are also what i imagine but as always we can discuss 😏

julien:

painting - you know the interview she is SO. CUTE. i think she would be so into taking a painting class or one of those wine+painting things, even like color me mine where you paint plates for your kitchen. she would definitely smile everytime one of you eats off the plate, wiggling her eyebrows.

if you paint on canvas, she gives me the vibes of after your paintings dry hanging them on the wall of her studio, grabbing your by your belt loops and pulling you into her chest so your back is flush with her front and being like "look at us, couple'a picassos baby," and then giggling, smacking a kiss to your cheek.

cooking class - miss pesto pasta over here, i have this very specific scenario where you guys take a cooking class once a month or like whenever she's on break from tour. she despises the baking ones because its not as freeform as the cooking ones, but she loves watching you measure stuff and how excited you get whenever the baked goods are coming out of the oven. she definitely says some cheesy joke after trying it being like "almost as sweet as you sugar," especially in her little twang AHHHH

but she loves the cooking classes, i think specifically pasta making or a pizza class. she loves wiping the flour off of your face and standing close to you, your arms brushing against each other as you both fiddle with the pasta attachment on a stand mixer. she loves the domesticity of it and leaves with recipes that she can make for you when she's home

phoebe:

fall things - okay don't kill me for this but homegirl loves a spooky moment, she DEFROSTS in the fall and i think she secretly loves a christian girl autumn moment. i imagine phoebe taking you (and maxine ofc) to a corn maze-fall farm-apple cider-hayride-esque date. you guys walk around (bundled up depending on if ur in la or somewhere that's colder in the fall) hand in hand, maxine trots along in front of you. you'll be standing in line for caramel apples or some fall treat, wrapped around phoebe as she looks up at the menu options, maxine at your feet, jumping up and stretching at your knees. Phoebe would turn her head, asking what you want and then kissing your nose softly before ordering. i just think she'd live for walking around and looking at all the farm to table goods in the little store near the exit. you'd definitely leave with some pumpkins and some random Halloween costume for maxine.

thrifting - i don't know why but i think she would be so fun to thrift with, like not so much you buy a ton of clothes but she would love to look around and get some stuff for y'alls house, like random dad joke mugs or vintage plate sets. i think she would be SO DOWN for the vintage painting trend where people buy old paintings and paint ghosts on them. she would be so stoked when you found the perfect painting, both of you getting home and painting the lil ghosts, hanging it in the kitchen. you both stare at it, heads cocked to the side when she's like, "good job baby.... but this is like... too on brand...right?" before laughing.

lucy:

museum - cultured queenie! i think she'd take advantage, especially when on tour to bring you to museums with the rest of the boys, you'd walk around with all of them before the two of you wander off and spend some time leisurely walking through different exhibits. she would definitely buy you some overpriced cheap souvenirs at the gift shop, kissing the corner of your mouth before rolling her eyes, a loving smile on her face when she sees you bouncing on your heels excitedly.

if you're living with her in philly, y'all def take advantage of the art museum in the city and visit the ones in the suburbs or even take weekend trips up and down the east coast/mid-atlantic to go to different ones. I also think she'd be down to road trip, stopping at museums and galleries along the way, holding your thigh as she drives on the interstate, nodding along as you describe some new exhibit you're excited about.

bookstore - you know the vibes, luce looooves a good bookstore. i feel like the vibes would be sooooo goood, she would definitely seek out used bookstores and the aisles are more narrow so she walks right up on you, rubbing your hips or lower abdomen as she stands behind you, your back flush with her chest. she would love letting you rest against her in a hug, rubbing your ass through your jeans . You'll be reading the back of a book, her lips subtly kissing the skin of your shoulder and neck before squeezing past you.

okay so it's not all kissing and ass grabs, you def have intellectual discussions about theory and the books you're both grabbing. there's also talks about if more books will actually fit in your home because the spare bedroom is already a library and you love to indulge lucy's bibliophile habits but you genuinely don't know if they will fit.

all da boys:

hiking, conservatories, nature reserves, aquariums, etc.

we know based on insta that they live for this shit, i can imagine any of them taking you to one of these places and just enjoying the shit out of it, maybe even a group date with all of their partners 👀i think they'd all be thrilled by a conservatory or botanical garden, idk so much about aquariums but i love aquariums so let me have this. but again i just think anything leisurely they love, all of them walking hand in hand with you at any of these places, being able to cuddle up to you when standing.... i meannnnn cmonnnnn